tell your new boss about pre-planned PTO before you start — the email script

You accepted the offer. You're starting in three weeks. And there's a wedding in June you already RSVP'd to, or a trip you booked back in February before the interview even happened.

You didn't mention it during the offer call because it felt awkward. Now you're sitting on it, wondering whether to bring it up before day one or wait until you've "proven yourself."

Here's the real answer: tell them now. Before you start. In week 0.

The framing most people get wrong is treating this like you're asking for time off. You're flagging a pre-existing commitment, which is a different thing. One sounds like you're already demanding flexibility. The other sounds like you're handing the team a known constraint early enough to plan around it.

Managers respect the latter. They're annoyed by the former when it shows up as a surprise in week 4.

why sitting on it makes you look worse

The fear that keeps people quiet is some version of "they'll think I'm not committed" or "they'll rescind the offer."

The actual risk runs the other way.

If you mention a pre-planned trip in week 0, before your first day, it reads as: this person communicates constraints early, which means I can trust them to surface problems before they become surprises. That's what a good new hire looks like from the other side of the table.

If you sit on it for three weeks and then drop it on your manager in a 1:1 ("hey so I actually have a wedding in June that I booked before I got this job"), it reads as: this person sat on information I needed to know, which means I now have to wonder what else they're sitting on. That's a rough first impression to climb out of.

The longer you wait, the worse the optics get. By week 4 your manager has already built coverage plans and staffed projects assuming you'll be around. A constraint flagged in week 0 is easy to work around. The same constraint in week 4 feels like you hid it.

the four-sentence email

You don't need to over-explain or apologize. And you're not asking permission. You're stating a fact and checking whether it causes a problem.

Here's the template:

Subject: Quick heads-up: pre-planned PTO in [month]

Hi [manager's name],

I'm looking forward to starting on [start date]. I wanted to flag that I have a pre-planned commitment in [month] ([wedding / family trip / etc.]) that I booked before the interview process. I'll be unavailable [dates].

Let me know if that creates any issues for the team, and I'm happy to discuss coverage or timing.

Thanks, [Your name]

That's it. Four sentences, zero groveling. Skip "I'm so sorry" and skip "I hope this isn't a problem." You're telling them early so they can plan. That's the whole job of the email.

when to send it

Send it after you've accepted the offer and before your first day. The sweet spot is within the first week of accepting: early enough that it doesn't feel like you sat on it, late enough that the offer is locked in.

If you're reading this and you're already two weeks into the job and you haven't mentioned it yet, send the email today. Yes, it's later than ideal. No, waiting another week won't make it better.

what if they push back

Most managers won't. A pre-planned commitment flagged early is easy to work around, especially if you're new and haven't been staffed on anything critical yet.

If they do push back ("we really need you here that week" or "can you move it?"), you have two options:

Move it if you can. If it's a trip you can reschedule without losing deposits or burning relationships, that's the cleanest path. Annoying, but it signals flexibility.
Hold the line if you can't. If it's a wedding or anything with non-refundable deposits and other people counting on you, say that plainly: "I understand the timing isn't ideal. Unfortunately this involves non-refundable travel and commitments to family, so I won't be able to move it. I'm happy to discuss coverage or how I can make sure my work is in a good place before I leave."

Most reasonable managers will work with you on option 2. If they don't — if they push hard or make it clear this is a dealbreaker — that's useful information about the job. A manager who can't accommodate a pre-planned trip flagged in week 0 is a manager who's going to make your life miserable when real constraints show up later.

the principle underneath this

PTO is just the first place this shows up.

Good employees surface problems early. Bad employees sit on them until they become surprises. Your manager is quietly sorting you into one of those buckets from day one, and the PTO conversation is one of the first data points they get.

Flag it in week 0 and you've shown you think about how your availability hits the team before anyone has to ask. Sit on it for a month and even a breezy "no problem" comes with a mental note attached: this person doesn't mention things until they have to. That note is hard to erase.

So send the email this week. Four sentences, no apology. The trip was never going to be the problem.